Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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