...so i touched it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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