Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
