I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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