I wanna bring you to show and tell
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
