i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
