I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All the doctor said was why
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I party with great urgency now.
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