I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Who died my cat blue again?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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