Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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