I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
from now on my penis is your penis
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
