well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
