make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
