He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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