I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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