The best revenge is premature balding
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
