If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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