Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The uberlube is also flammable
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
