are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
