i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
