Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
