I bet he comes in French.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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