I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
