theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
