Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
