Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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