haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
