this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
