yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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