Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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