I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
