she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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