Kiss
Puke
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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