Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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