I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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