my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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