I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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