just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
