Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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