we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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