I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
