chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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