summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
