margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
