Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
