Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
