Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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