Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
