so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
