I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
