"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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