Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
