is your mom at the bar?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
