Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
